granny panties are real

I'm no artist / photographer / designer / writer,
just an avid lover of things.
All kinds of things.

Seriously Embarrassed

Good evening nobody

I want to tell you a story about one seriously humiliating week! Especially in the light of my tangent about shitty bosses. I’m setting myself up for some laughs, but honestly I can’t keep being rosy-cheeked about this for long! I am going crazy here, so maybe if I share this horrifically embarrassing tale, and assuming you laugh at me, I might laugh at it too!

Alright, so the little one I au pair is quite frankly the cutest thing since she was born, and a natural raconteur! She is definitely a genius, but only 4 years old. Her parents are these amazing young people living the f out of life and laughing at every hardship. It’sau a fantastic working environment.

Anyway, the little one, let’s call her A for now, has an elder sister who is going through puberty and quite private about her ‘private parts’. And as a result, every afternoon at nap time A lectures me about not looking at her bits. Well, it usually goes the same and I tell her I’m not interested in seeing them and she gets over it.

However! Monday was an exception. 

A: “You musn’t look at my privates! Only my mommy and daddy can look at my privates because they are my family…”

C: “Yes, that’s right A.”

A: “And I cant look at your privates.”

C: “No, you can’t.”

A: “But my daddy has a video on his cell phone of you naked. I’ve seen your privates.”

C: “What?”

A: “Yes, you are blowing a kiss and then I can see your private parts! Like this!” 

[Insert demonstration]

Well, I was definitely shitting myself at this point. What? Does any such video of me exist? No. Any photograph? No… Maybe he just has some porn on his phone… Most guys do these days don’t they? Shit I don’t know.

C: A, it’s definitely not me.

A: okay.

She starts falling asleep and I start calming down, only to be shocked once more! Her eyes open, in a freaky fast kind of way.

A: But my daddy said it was you.

C: A it isn’t me.

A: I promise you.

Now, I’ve learnt with A, a promise means its the truth. Now I am freaking out! So in the evening, I turn to my parents for advice and they agree; this is weird. I wait until the next morning, actually forgetting about it due to a huge essay deadline. Then I’m reminded. I have to confront this guy!

I send him a message on whatsapp just asking him to talk to her and explain that it wasn’t me. He reads it, takes ages to reply, but eventually responds with this:

"LOL, don’t worry, she saw one of your previous profile pics and thought it a bit racy (her exact words were ‘she’s got her boobs out’). Her very active imagination has spilled out of control. Foolishly I thought it amusing at the time but then [mom] tried explaining to her that it’s not what she thought… But the little one was set on it, so now she’s assassinating your character, because of a racy whatsapp profile picture. We cannot tell her it wasn’t you… Because it was just your innocent profile pic and she knows it’s you… You are going to have to be slightly more demure with your profile pics, your current one is okay…”

How bloody embarrassing! “Slightly more demure”??? I don’t consider my profile pictures racy or provocative, and you can judge for yourself, I’ll upload it. Anyway, a whole bloody back-and-forth between us ensued, and [mom] got involved too. What a distraction.

All I can say is thank goodness I only see them every now and then, I am dreading our next encounter. The man thinks I accused him of showing his daughter porn! Needless to say, my profile picture is currently a question mark thingy!

Cat profile pictures from now on…

animalstalkinginallcaps:

GOD, DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME YOU ADDRESSED YOUR CREATIONS DIRECTLY? UPDATED YOUR LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS AND CLEARED UP ANY MISINTERPRETATIONS? THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD DOWN HERE.
I was going to, but I can’t get verified on Twitter because I forgot My old hotmail password. 
CAN’T YOU JUST SHOW UP IN THE SKY OR SOMETHING? BIG PYROTECHNICS DISPLAY, AMPLIFIED VOICE, ETC?
That doesn’t mean anything anymore. I just went to go see hologram Tupac on tour. It’s the same thing.
SHIT, YOU’RE RIGHT. WE’VE GOT TO GET YOU VERIFIED.
That’s what I’ve been saying.

animalstalkinginallcaps:

GOD, DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME YOU ADDRESSED YOUR CREATIONS DIRECTLY? UPDATED YOUR LAWS AND COMMANDMENTS AND CLEARED UP ANY MISINTERPRETATIONS? THINGS ARE PRETTY BAD DOWN HERE.

I was going to, but I can’t get verified on Twitter because I forgot My old hotmail password. 

CAN’T YOU JUST SHOW UP IN THE SKY OR SOMETHING? BIG PYROTECHNICS DISPLAY, AMPLIFIED VOICE, ETC?

That doesn’t mean anything anymore. I just went to go see hologram Tupac on tour. It’s the same thing.

SHIT, YOU’RE RIGHT. WE’VE GOT TO GET YOU VERIFIED.

That’s what I’ve been saying.

thug life!
My two loves, one wants to work, the other wants to play.
t-rexin’
Hello!

Blogging is getting easier by the day, I find that I’m doing more and seeing more which is lovely.

This picture is a still from a film I made with the help of these ladies (there were others too!) for our dear friend Kelsey. It was for her 21st birthday and the aim was to be ridiculous and embarrassing. 

Kelsey’s love life has been an interesting one, some movie script potential right there! Unfortunately I can’t add the video as it is quite cheeky and some past lovers might be upset. But I loved this bit where they directly addressed “Matt A” who was at the party.

The premis of the film was that 64 years later we were all about to go to her 85th birthday party (hence the grey-baby-powdered-hair) and we reminice about how much we embarrased her on the night of her 2st. As old ladies, we recall the night and how great it was. 
Maybe if I edit it a little I can get it up but, yes, anyway.

Its something to be proud of.

Lately I am focussing on everything I do that I should be proud of, instead of everything that I don’t do. I encourage anyone, even the most positive of people, to do the same.

I believe it to be the reason I am getting so much done.
reasonstobefit:

submitted by arisdawdle-deactivated20120713
Brilliant…

This is super embarrassing but last semester for Media, we had to make a film commenting on current affairs or something. I was put in a group with some seriously awesome people and it was the only time, ever, I’ve enjoyed working in a group.

We did pretty well, which felt great! Watch it if you are bored, or if you feel like laughing at me!